Is Jesus My Lord?
St. Mike and I sat in his small office at St. Rita’s, tired after a day of work in the summer heat with a malfunctioning air conditioner. We were sweaty and not cool with all the maintenance problems and a lack of money and volunteers.
“Last night,” I told St. Mike, “I had dinner with a Protestant friend who must have said ‘Jesus is Lord’ 10 times. He was living in the glow “of being saved” a few weeks ago.”
St. Mike smiled, and I continued, “I appreciate his enthusiasm, but geez, give me break.”
St. Mike said, “We Catholics believe Jesus is Lord but don’t gush on about it.”
“Maybe we should gush a little more.” As a convert, my fellow Catholics lack of enthusiasm, of ‘gushing,’ sometimes dismayed me.
“Maybe we should,” St. Mike answered. “He is our Lord. He is the Lord of Catholics, Protestants and Orthodox alike.”
“So,” I asked, “when we declare Him Lord, what do we mean?”
St. Mike waxed eloquent, as he often did, “He is God incarnate. His life and death opened the flood gates of grace from God, enough grace to forgive every sin committed since Adam and Eve to the present day. Enough grace to save the whole world.”
“Yes,” I said, “the whole world. Every sin committed, ever, by anyone, the sins I’ll commit tomorrow.”
“And my sins next week. And the week after, until I die.”
I drummed my fingers on my old desk. Several “To-Do” papers lay in front of my computer. Dinner would be late. Then I said, “Naturally this causes one to ask how we access that grace.”
“How do we get our hands on it?”
“In American Christianity, a common phrase is, ‘What must I do to be saved?’”
“That,” St. Mike observed, “is the question of questions.” He sipped his coffee – St. Mike drank more coffee – fully caffeinated coffee – than anyone I knew; he claimed it did not affect his sleep. He went on, “I’m surprised more people don’t ask that question.”
“Me too,” I said.
Mike, looking old, paused, and then added, “Because if they asked the question they might stumble upon the answer.”
“And it’s such a beautiful answer.”
“Yes, wonderful.” Getting warmed up, I added, “I’ll take a shot at the answer. First, acknowledge the Lord, accept Him as your savior. Believe in Him and follow Him with an honest heart, Then you will receive peace in this world and life with Him in heaven forever.”
“That’s right, Jake,” St. Mike said. I appreciated Mike’s approval – he knew a lot about a lot of things, including theology. After retiring from Roche, St. Mike, feeling a call from the Lord, had received his master’s in theology from St. Meinrad, but somehow ended up becoming the Chief of Building and Grounds at St. Rita. I loved to talk theology with him.
“This is a great deal,” Mike added. “Just think – by following Him – and we all follow someone, even if it’s our own shadow – we receive peace in this life and heaven for eternity.”
“It’s the best bargain ever.”
“And it is offered to every human being in the world and we Christians are lucky enough and wise enough to accept it.”
“Well said, Mike.” I did not address Mike as “St. Mike.” I looked out the window, which was a bit dusty, and saw a guy from Remy’s Lawn Service on a riding lawnmower cutting our grass. Remy was a member of St. Rita’s and worked for next to nothing; sometimes, he did not invoice us. Without the Remy’s of the world the Church could not survive.
“Not only is it a ‘great deal’,” St. Mike expanded, displaying air quotes, around ‘great deal,’ “but it is the truth – lined with love – that undergirds our sinful suffering unruly world.”
We paused, surprised by the way we’d tacked into these deep waters. Mike and I had some great chats, and this one was a keeper.
“You know, Mike,” I said, “this ‘Jesus is Lord’ talk sounds so beautiful, mystical, comforting.”
“We may question it, and doubt it, but then we experience it in our own life.”
“Yes,” I replied, “I agree.” I remembered warmly the times I felt Jesus helping me in my life. This was not an illusion.
“But” St. Mike continued, “there are two sides to this deal, this great bargain.” He paused and sipped his coffee. “This bargain is not a one-way street.”
I saw where he was going. “We need to read the fine print.”
“Yes,” Mike responded confidently. “What’s my part of the deal? Ay, there’s the rub.”
I paused and answered with what I had said earlier, “Following Him with an honest heart,”
St. Mike gazed at me intently with his piercing eyes. “So, we claim Jesus as Lord. What happens when He tells us to change our ways? To give up our comfortable sins?”
I hesitated but then responded. “I feel conflicted. I want to change, but, but I don’t want to change. Can’t I keep a few of my bad habits, my little sins – “
“Those little sins may be bigger than you think.”
“Or my big sins,” I conceded. A few of them still circled me like angry jackals.
St. Mike continued, “Jesus wants to be involved in the nitty-gritty of your life.
Inspired, I said, “Jesus does not mind getting His hands dirty – He wants to get His hands dirty.”
St. Mike was on a roll. “You see,” St. Mike said, spilling a little coffee on one of my memos; fortunately, it was just a draft. “Jesus is not a hands-off Lord. No, He is a hands-on Lord with rolled-up sleeves – remember He was a carpenter.”
That hit me – yes, He was the Messiah, but He was a carpenter too. He knew about practical things. The petty dirty details of own life were exactly where Jesus wanted to rule.
Mike finished with a rare intensity. “He wants to hammer and nail and shape you according to His design and His purposes.”
Driving home my thoughts cycled between dinner and my conversation with Mike. I could honestly proclaim that Jesus was becoming my Lord. I had not completely submitted yet. I was a numbers guy and thought percentages could be useful here. If Jesus ruled all my life – every single nook and cranny, then I would score 100% and be on my way to sainthood. New Christians scored less than 50%, mature believers ranked over 50%. I rated myself at 70%.
Thinking about it further, I saw dangers in self-scoring. Self-delusion is common in the spiritual life and particularly dangerous since it can affect our salvation. We need others – preferably a trained spiritual director – to assist in our “Jesus is Lord” scoring.
My Sweet Lord, hasten the day when You rule 100% of me!
Peace