MEMORANDUM FOR: EMPLOYEES OF DEPARTMENTAL ACCOUNTING DIVISION
SUBJECT: On-the-Job-Barking
1. It has come to my attention that certain employees in this division are barking on the job. One of you begins barking, apparently as a diversion from the daily routine, or a means of relieving stress and letting off steam. Another employee lends a voice to the chorus in a spirit of camaraderie and soon several of you are yapping and yelping like a pack of bloodhounds.
2. Even though these barking sessions are brief and may in fact improve productivity, I must insist they stop. Barking is not professional behavior and casts the accounting profession in a negative light. Several supervisors and employees of other organizations have complained to me. Others are making snide remarks about our division “going to the dogs.” The animal rights’ activists have complained to both Management and the Union that we’re making fun of them and all animals. My boss has discussed this with me several times. On the last occasion he became quite upset and said I must “…put a stop to all this damned doggy doodoo. Or else.”
3. I understand many of you think your rights of free speech will be violated if you must cease barking. Let me remind you that you have plenty of opportunities for barking elsewhere. You may bark away to your heart’s content in your car, your home, or in the woods. Channel your energy here into improving the quality and quantity of your output.
4. You asked me to consider the creation of designated barking areas in the Finance Center, perhaps in a section of the snack bar next to the smokers. I relayed this suggestion to the Director and prefer not to pass on his reply.
5. Therefore, all barking in this division or any area of the Finance Center is hereby prohibited. Appropriate severe disciplinary action will be taken against violators.
Chief, Departmental Accounting Division